In a yoga class, this might mean pushing ourselves beyond our abilities. For example, if you have not even practiced headstand and you have no idea what your body is capable of on that front, then it might be best to either call the teacher over for an assist or wait until you can try it against a wall. Pushing ourselves into poses just because “everyone else is doing it” can strain the body and put us in situations we aren’t quite ready for. This doesn't mean that it's bad to take risks, but that we need to prepare ourselves and meet our body where it is at.
This type of enabling also occurs of the mat, often most visible in relationships with others. An example might be if you have a very one-sided relationship with a friend. Something wherein she only reaches out in times of emotional need, and does not give nourishment back to you / the relationship. Often, we choose to appease this friend. We listen patiently and provide words of consolation and praise. And then we leave the interaction feeling drained; we gave energy without receiving any in return and are thus depleted. In choosing to respond to the “friend” this way, we are enabling her to continue this energy-taking relationship, and we are also enabling ourselves to use our most precious resources of time and energy in a non-productive, unauthentic way. A healthier alternative could be setting boundaries that allow us to communicate compassion toward our friend while also communicating compassion toward ourselves. Ultimately, whether we are enabling in our relationships with ourselves or with others, it comes down to the same thing: a need for authentic, nourishing interaction. We can break out of our tendencies to enable by choosing instead to empower. |