Practical Self Love
This is for the girl who sat quietly in class.
Who did as she was told
Day after day
Doing what was necessary to get things done
And then going above that
Because good was never quite good enough.
And she didn't have much to say.
She sat there, listening
Always listening and enjoying being a "quiet" girl.
And when you looked from the outside
She was calm
Collected
Polite
Sweet.
But inside of the sweet exterior
Were harsh thoughts
That she didn't know were harsh.
She thought they helped.
She thought they made her tougher
Work harder
Be better
But then she finally started listening to what the voices were saying.
She heard the thoughts for what they actually were.
They weren't helping her improve.
They were thoughts of inadequacy that came up when she expected more.
And she's still fairly quiet
But she likes it that way.
She likes to listen
To observe
To see things as they are.
But there is a change.
She realized the thoughts never helped
And she changed them.
Because she had the strength all along.
So what once was "you can do better"
Became "You did your best in that moment"
And next time she know what to do differently.
Who did as she was told
Day after day
Doing what was necessary to get things done
And then going above that
Because good was never quite good enough.
And she didn't have much to say.
She sat there, listening
Always listening and enjoying being a "quiet" girl.
And when you looked from the outside
She was calm
Collected
Polite
Sweet.
But inside of the sweet exterior
Were harsh thoughts
That she didn't know were harsh.
She thought they helped.
She thought they made her tougher
Work harder
Be better
But then she finally started listening to what the voices were saying.
She heard the thoughts for what they actually were.
They weren't helping her improve.
They were thoughts of inadequacy that came up when she expected more.
And she's still fairly quiet
But she likes it that way.
She likes to listen
To observe
To see things as they are.
But there is a change.
She realized the thoughts never helped
And she changed them.
Because she had the strength all along.
So what once was "you can do better"
Became "You did your best in that moment"
And next time she know what to do differently.
Self love is about becoming your own best friend. Someone who will encourage you when you're feeling uninspired, someone who will support you when you’re doing what you love, someone who will help keep things in perspective so you know that this moment is only temporary, and most importantly, someone who pushes you to be your very best.
Self love isn’t just loving yourself bindly, because love isn’t blind. Someone who loves you wouldn’t support you in a self destructive behavior, even if you love that destructive behavior.
Practice detaching yourself from the situation, look at it as though it were someone else. How would you advise them? What would bring that person the best outcome in the long run?
It means that you need to be kind to yourself as you encourage yourself to try new things. One of my favorite Jordan Peterson quotes that I like to keep in mind when I’m thinking about how to move forward in life:
“Can you imagine yourself in 10 years if instead of avoiding the things you know you should do, you actually did them every single day - that’s powerful”
We all know what we should do, for the most part. It’s easy to say I should work out more and eat more vegetables, it’s another thing to actually do those things.
To me, practical self love is doing the things we know we should do.
Self love isn’t just loving yourself bindly, because love isn’t blind. Someone who loves you wouldn’t support you in a self destructive behavior, even if you love that destructive behavior.
Practice detaching yourself from the situation, look at it as though it were someone else. How would you advise them? What would bring that person the best outcome in the long run?
It means that you need to be kind to yourself as you encourage yourself to try new things. One of my favorite Jordan Peterson quotes that I like to keep in mind when I’m thinking about how to move forward in life:
“Can you imagine yourself in 10 years if instead of avoiding the things you know you should do, you actually did them every single day - that’s powerful”
We all know what we should do, for the most part. It’s easy to say I should work out more and eat more vegetables, it’s another thing to actually do those things.
To me, practical self love is doing the things we know we should do.
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As I’ve gotten more into yoga, and as I’ve started investing more time into my Instagram, it’s teaching me that everybody has something they can offer to somebody else, so you should be confident in who you are and what you have going for you |
Ali Basye-Featherston
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